2004-04-29 - 10:07 p.m.
I've officially decided what I'm going to be when I grow up. I'm going to be a "Television Personality". These are people that get paid mucho dinero for doing nothing at all.
Just look at Robin Leach, from "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". Even his last name is perfect (LeEch....they're close). This is a man that gets paid millions upon millions of dollars for hanging out with rich people, drinking THEIR champagne, eating THEIR caviar, and crashing THEIR parties. He gets some of the finest things known to man while not only mooching off of other people (thus not spending his own money), but actually getting PAID huge cash to do it. It's rediculous.
And what the hell is a "personality" anyway?? Everyone has a personality, but what makes someone's personality a "TV personality"?! Look at some of these "personalities". Carson Daly, Ryan Seacrist, Robin Leach. They're all idiots and they're all horribly famous for it! They shouldn't be called "personalities", they should be called "professional parasites/questioning morons." To be a personality, all you have to do is be able to talk to someone, and be completely untalented at everything but talking. It's remarkable. These horrible wastes of space should be serving my lunch, but instead they're being served at some of the "hottest" parties in the universe.
So you see. This is truly the profession for me. I'd get short, late hours, I'd get to mooch off of other people (one of my greatest talents), and I'd get more money than God!
To help me start, please e-mail me, and let me know when and where your next party is, and I'll be sure to "personalitize it".
In the words of Robin Leach, "Don't we all want a taste of champagne wishes and caviar dreams?" Well this is my ticket to gettin em, baby!
